Something dug out of the Spectator

Now I think the Spectator is not what it was. But I came across a snippet in a letter from my late grandmother purporting to be the work of R Kennard Davies a retired Headmaster whose compositions held sway some 60 years ago.

The contestants had to start with a line.

Some Thirty years before, these three had shared a bungalow in Bangalore and now.....

The winning entry went on

One is wearing dungarees
and serving Sangaree to Cingalese in Singapore;
And the one who played the banjo in the bungalow in Bangalore,
To mandarins in Mandalay now plays the mandolin;
But sadder far, Andalusian Ann
Is eating Marzipan in Zanzibar.

I also recollect some good epitaphs over the years. Some of them have stuck in my memory:

A Samaritan -
Here lies a man who often sat and listened on the phone
To those with lives so awful, that
At last he took his own.

A Race Relations guru -
Here lies a race-relations bod
Who doubtless now is telling God
That he commits a crime to keep
Distinguishing the goats from Sheep.

A traffic warden
Maud who held the kerb in thrall
Is now alas a goner
The greatest warden of them all
Has slapped his ticket on her.

A disc jockey
Unfailingly benign and brisk
No more may he beguile us
Rolled round on earth's rotating disk
Till doomsday raised the stylus.

I can't think how I have them all in my memory!