Bishop Heber more PC

This parody was inspired by Canon Samuel's appeal at the 50th Anniversary of Bishop Heber High School in Malpas for something more attuned to modern ears than Bishop Heber's splendid lines. I misunderstood the quest and wrote it to suit modern tastes. Years of working at St Deiniol's Library gave me the inspiration for it

The Son of God goes forth to war
A kingly crown to gain;
We'd like a tasteful modern flag
To follow in his train.
We'll do without his cup of woe,
A drug will ease our pain;
The cross is far too heavy now
To bear it in his train.

Let's do away with sacrifice
And only strive for gain;
And make a way for sin and vice
To join us in his train.
We don't need Christ to save us
Or forgiveness to obtain;
We only need to get our rights
To follow in his train.

The 'chosen few' offends our sense
Of inclusivity:
We're much more free and easy now
And need more liberty;
The narrow path seems much too long,
Our choices are more sane:
We only need to drift along
To follow in his train.

And at life's end, we'll slip away
Into another room;
We spout the Creed but don't believe
We'll ever face our doom;
But if the pearly gates appear,
We'll have to think again,
And hope our niceness will suffice
To follow in his train.

1 Oct 2010